Jan 09 2006 About this time of the year, I file a personal property tax declaration for my horse farm. And it never seems to fail that someone from the assessor's office gives me a call. If you know me, you know that I'm keen on details and accuracy on these kinds of things. Well, last year the woman who called wanted to know about a $7 difference between my filing the year before and my filing of last year. This $7 difference was for a set of farm tools and equipment that totaled in five figures. That's a rounding error at worst. Wonder how much money it cost the county to call me about a $7 difference (which, I might point out, was not really there if she had read what I sent her)?

So, it was with no surprise that I was called this morning. "Where," I was asked, "was the trailer listed last year? Surely it must be a horse trailer." "Nope. Only a beat-up farm trailer with no road license that I use to haul fence posts through the pasture to make repairs. It's right there on my schedule of equipment." It was. "I see that you have three horses. Do you have any tack for them? None is listed." “Well, it's old stuff, over 20 years old, with not much value." "Okay. I’ll put down the minimum."

In all, there was one item that was already there in what I sent in and another that has little or no value and will not affect my overall taxes. Wonder how much that call cost the county? Marian said my tone of voice was a tad unfriendly. But, the guy did thank me for my cooperation.

Dec 31 2005 I sent a "$#@& you, strong message to follow" email to Medcrap after the previously ranted-about incidents. I told in excruciating detail the whole bloody story. In it, I asked that it be shown to a supervisor and I get a response from one. I got an email the next day giving me the name and direct line to a supervisor as well as her regular hours. I also was told I could email them back with how to get me and when it would be most convenient.

So, I called the supervisor during her office hours. Got her answering machine. Left my name and number. Did that every other day for a total of four tries. No calls were returned.

Then I sent them an email, told about leaving my name four times, and told them when I would be available and at what number. As you would guess, no one has called.

Guess they're on semester break.

Jan 03 2006 This morning I accessed my bank online and was informed of a new security procedure where I have to pick a picture and give it a title so they and I will recognize each other on a web connect. I was also asked to choose among several challenge questions and then give answers. In all, I had to choose three different questions.

In the first one, I chose “What’s your maternal grandmother’s first name?” as my challenge question. Well, while she had a proper name, everyone called her Pussy. So I put that in the answer space.

The next screen came back with red letters in a warning box: Profanity is not allowed.

Dec 26 2005 No, this isn't a Windows error. It’s Sprint PCS. All we wanted to do was to connect to Sprint PCS (the web) to download some ringers onto Marian’s phone. I went to the proper place on her phone and pushed the proper buttons. It tried to connect, but came back with “Error 1012” which told me it could not connect and to try again later (it did not work no matter how much later I tried) or call customer service.

So, I dialed customer service from Marian’s mobile phone. I got that recorded lady who asks you what the problem is. Three times I said: “PCS connection” or just “PCS.” Each time she asked me what about my bill I wanted to talk about. So, I said: “Customer service” and was put in queue for the next available agent. (When in doubt, always say “customer service.”) When connected, I told the agent what my problem was. She said the Marian’s phone did not have a PCS service pack. I knew this, but also know that if you’re not paying for connection by the month, you can still get on the web and pay for it by actual usage. I told her I did not want to pay monthly for PCS (web) service, just wanted to download a couple of ringers. She had me hang up on Marian’s phone and she called me back on mine. I went through the same rigmarole on Marian’s phone and got the same error. “Ah, Error 1012,” she said. “I have to connect you with a PCS specialist to solve that problem.”

Ten minutes pass while I am on hold. A nice young woman comes on. I tell her I keep getting Error 1012. She then leads me through the programming of Marian’s phone for PCS. Somehow, you would think this was part of the phone when it was activated. This takes about 20 minutes including the times when the phone locked up, I had to remove the battery from the back, let it sit for a while, then start again from scratch or from some intermediate place.

Finally, after over a half hour on the phone, it’s all done (so to speak). She tells me to go to Settings, blah blah blah, and push Update Profile. Guess what? I get Error 1012. She fiddles on her computer for another five minutes, has me remove the battery again, and try the update again. Error 1012.

She tells me that the computer is just not recognizing Marian’s phone. Now, this is all to just download a couple of freaking ringers (for which we will have to pay $2.50 each). We don't use the Internet on our telephone. We use it as a telephone! I am then informed that the next step by a higher techie guru (who will call within 24 hours) is to do a lobotomy on the phone (erase all its memories…..”Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do”). This means that all the phone numbers Marian has programmed and all the pictures she has taken of the grandchildren. will be released into etherspace. I tell the nice lady that we don’t want to do that. I tell her I will take it to our local Sprint store to have them do a Vulcan mind meld. She tells me the techie will call us within 24 hours regardless. Ah, well.

So, 45 minutes have passed at this point. The only thing I have accomplished is to deplete the battery on both Marian’s and my phone. And we still don’t have any new ringers for Marian. Unfortunately, I am known by name and face at the local Sprint store, but that’s another story.

P.S. I took the phone into the local Sprint store. Even they could not get it to connect to the Internet. So, they gave us a new phone. And I learned a new term. I was told that we should not go onto the Internet for three hours since they had to "reprovision" the phone.